Like many new moms mired in the throes of sleep deprivation, I was convinced my logic was solid. And so was my husband. Convinced of his logic, that is. Not mine. And that’s where the problem started.
Our argument began innocently enough. Wanting to give me a break, my husband offered to bathe our daughter that evening. Our dated bathtub - a holdover from the 1980s - lacked a built-in stopper assembly and required a rubber plug for bathing. A rubber plug that was now missing🤔.
I must have been the one who misplaced it, my husband concluded. There was no one else in the house - no one besides our daughter, who was not yet crawling. Probably also a bit overtired himself, he demanded to know where I put it.
Where did I put it? I didn’t put it anywhere, I told him. And besides, I wasn’t the one of us with a reputation for losing track of things. It must have been him, I concluded. Because I knew that I didn’t do it.
We carried on this way for a while, the argument growing more heated as a strange skidding sound arose in the background. The sound grew louder until we could no longer ignore it.
Just then, the plug sailed between us, with our cat not far behind. He had found a new toy, and had been slapping it across the floor like a hockey puck😹.
We both sat there, speechless. Both of us had been totally right in our logic, but ended up being completely wrong. We had assumed things about each other, and treated each other with suspicion as a result. There was nothing to do but laugh at what had happened, and repent for our angry words.
The story is funny when we’re talking about cats and bathtubs. But the Bible warns us many, many times against making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Perhaps Proverbs 25, verses 7-8 puts it best;
“What you have seen with your eyes, do not bring hastily into court, for what will you do in the end if your neighbor puts you to shame?”
This would have been a real concern in Israel, which, like other ancient Middle Eastern countries, fostered an honor-shame culture. To shame a neighbor in court, or to be shamed by your neighbor, was serious business. Making assumptions was a risk, for both you and your neighbor. You needed to know. Like, FOR SURE.
Thankfully, today, we have left behind many of the harmful dynamics of this kind of society❤️. Don't we? But as Christians, the stakes remain high. We are supposed to be known for the love we show for one another. When we act in unloving ways based on faulty assumptions, which are rooted in suspicion and hemmed in by blame, we perpetuate this shame based system that Jesus died to free us from.
I don’t know about you, but there are days when my eyes see a lot. A sink full of dirty dishes. A trail of mud through the house. A slight. A forgotten commitment. The list never ends. However, my tendency to assign motives is, what the kids call, a little "sus." Those suspicions can and must come to an end. And that only happens when I repent and ask God to help me change.
When our expectations aren’t met over and over, it’s easy to assign motives. To assume the worst of others. To give voice to those assumptions, or to hold them inside and let them poison our thoughts. When this happens, we need to repent and ask God to help us see the unseen circumstances behind the visible results🙏.
Where has life fallen short of your expectations this week?
Have you brought your disappointment to God?
Have you assigned motives, consciously or unconsciously, to those involved?
Where are you in need of repentance?
-Kristin Yarbrough, Worthy Content Writer
*This is part of our quarterly series: Empowered to Repent. Join our discussion on our social media platforms.
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