When a Teacher Doesn't Have the Answers

About 14 years ago, I was born again and found myself back in a church pew after a 12 year hiatus from Jesus. Worship was wonderful that day. I felt filled with the Spirit and ready to receive as the teaching pastor came on stage. His face was more somber than usual, absent of his typical bright smile and welcoming words. He stood at the podium, held up his Bible and said, “The Lord just told me that some of you really want to hear from God, but you have no idea what His voice sounds like.” My pastor was right. I didn’t know how to recognize God’s voice over my own gazillion thoughts per minute. I was desperate to have real relationship with Him this time around.

I took his word to heart and went out to buy my first Study Bible the next day. I had a baby at the time, so I was skeptical that I would stick to any kind of early morning discipline. But after only a week of practicing this new discipline, I was hooked. Over the next year and a half, I read that entire NIV Life Application Study Bible from cover to cover, including every single study note.

If I’m honest, I can see now that my love of God’s Word grew faster and bigger than my love for God. I wonder if this is common for those with high teaching grace.

When it comes to 5-Fold Grace gifts, I am a teacher through and through. I can look back to when I was 11 years old and attempted to start a “research club.” Hey, don’t roll your eyes! It was summer time in the early 90s. There were no Ipads or internet yet. There was only so much Nintendo to play and Days of Our Lives to watch. For as long as I can remember, I LOVED to learn. I sometimes liked what I was learning in school but if I could CHOOSE the topic, research could easily keep me busy for an entire day. Even now, most of the time, I've got headphones on, consuming (mostly) educational podcasts while cooking dinner, folding laundry, taking the dog out.

With my friends, I am known for asking questions. I can barely stand a surface level conversation. I want to know MORE! My favorite times with friends (or anyone really) are when we go deep and really learn something new about each other. I am the Women’s Ministry Leader at my church where I have made “deeper connection” the main thing. I crave relationships and community where we really KNOW and SEE each other. Every area of my life is centered around my insatiable curiosity for all things but especially God and His uniquely made children.

This curiosity of mine? She’s my friend. I love her. She’s my favorite part of me. But there’s another side of her. She thinks she can protect, save, and love me better than God can by exploring every rabbit hole of information to help solve my heart problems. It took me a long time to see that.

Teachers, our big, beautiful God, loves our curiosity, but he doesn’t just want us to know OF Him. He wants us to KNOW Him. I have found that I come to really know Him when I encounter something in my life that can’t be solved or understood by reading a book or researching for hours. I’m currently in a season of deep heart break like I’ve never known before. My thoughts are consumed with my traumatic circumstances. I saw a video the other day that described this as “ruminating.”

Ruminating is when your mind is trying to solve the pain that can’t be solved by thinking. I would really love to think about something else. Anything else. But as a teacher, solving problems by gaining knowledge and understanding is kind of our schtick. Much of my identity as a teacher is wrapped up in being the one with the answers or who can find the answer. Regardless of how strong your teaching gift may be, I want to remind you if you are in the midst of a trial that this is an invitation to sit in the mystery. This is your invitation to Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5).

If we could figure everything out—if there were a way to sidestep all the pain and tie it up neatly—then we wouldn’t need Jesus. We wouldn’t need His presence, His heart, His peace, or His comfort. In seasons of testing and desperation, knowledge can only take us so far. It’s only in the secret place, sitting with your Savior, that you find rescue from the battles raging in your mind. THIS is the place that my love of knowing about Him is displaced by a love for Him who loves me so much that He gave His life so that I could find my way to His arms when I can't find an answer for my broken heart.

In that quiet place, may the Teacher of your soul show you that His presence is the answer your heart has been searching for.

~Niki Hathorn, Worthy Content Writer

1. Where do you need to stop trying to figure it all out and just rest in the arms of your Father?

2. If you've ever experienced an unwanted answer to prayer, in what new ways did you experience Jesus?

3. If you are a Teacher, in what ways do you struggle to accept mystery over mastery?