Love is a Choice

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Many of us are familiar with this passage of scripture, and can even recite parts of it from memory. But knowing words on a page isn't the same thing as walking them out in our own lives. What does love look like in a healthy, mature Christian marriage?

Love is a choice. It is a decision to put the other person’s desires before your own. It is noticing when the other is struggling and lifting them up. It is laughing in the rain and being carefree. It is cheering them on in their passions. It is being beside them in hard times and knowing that they will be there for you as well. Love is a choice.

Choosing to love all parts of them. The parts that make you smile. The intriguing parts that you haven’t figured out yet and will take a lifetime to understand. The parts that frustrate you or maybe even drive you a little crazy, and the parts that make them unique or different from you. Marveling at the way God made all parts of them and gifted them.

Love is not a feeling….at least not the lasting kind. Feelings change like the wind. Feelings are fickle and part of our unstable human nature. They cannot be trusted when making our decisions. Following them can lead you down all kinds of winding and stormy paths that you were never meant to endure.

The highs and lows will come. They are a part of life and grow us to maturity. They knit us together and cause us to finish each other’s sentences. Sharing our life experiences make both of us more like the other. We understand each other and are in tune with what our partner needs when we choose to love.

Love is a phone call to let them know you are thinking of them during the day. It is a hug to show them that you care. It is a squeeze of the hand to remind them that you are there. Love is a smile to affirm them; and a locked-in moment of eye contact that lets them know that YOU know what they are thinking. It is holding them when they cry, wiping away the tears. or crying with them, and embracing them when we don’t have all the answers. Love is a choice. It is choosing each other through thick and thin.

This is mature love. It’s not based on feelings. The feelings will come naturally as both individuals put work into the relationship, but it is the choice to love. This is what makes a relationship stable. A mature love says, “I choose you”. Your partner knows that no matter what happens, they can count on you.

Even when you are in a disagreement, which WILL happen, there is an element of understanding that this is temporary. This will pass. You can rest in knowing that my partner still loves me even though we don’t see eye-to-eye.

Love gives each other space but doesn’t walk away. It says I am frustrated with you, but we will get through this; and I am not going anywhere. Love is being excited to share what happened in your day and hearing what happened in theirs, one day at a time. Every day, love is a choice.

~Susan Mohrland, Worthy Content Writer