An Introduction to the 5-Fold Shepherding Grace

November is a perfect month to explore more about the Shepherding Grace. As you reflect on all you are grateful for and spend time with family, let your heart be shepherded and get equipped with us here on the blog and on The Live Worthy podcast.

The Shepherding Grace gives you a HOME where you feel you belong, AND where you NURTURE and PROTECT others into a place of belonging!

Shepherd (poimēn): One who leads sheep to safe and fertile pasture where they can rest and eat; one who tends their needs, binds their wounds, and protects them from outside threats as members of their flock.

A Shepherd leads people into safe spaces of belonging where they can be restored from their wounds, protected from attack (both outside and within), and grow to their fullest potential, as a valued member of the family.

There are 3 Defining Marks of Shepherding Grace:

1. Nurturing: In prayer and presence, you tenderly and patiently partner with the full restoration God has for each of His kids. “I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing,” declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 23:4

   
   

2. Protecting: Like a mama bear, you fiercely defend and advocate for those you love against any attack from without or within. “I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.” Ezek. 34:16

   
   

3. Removing Aloneness: You are active to connect WITH those in your community (family, church, workplace, neighborhood), and to connect them TO the greater flock. “If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” Matt. 18:12-14

Indicators that you are strong in Shepherding grace:

• You value people first, and not the progress they bring to the team.

• You connect to people deeply, giving them your full attention when you are together and checking up on them often when you are apart.

• You celebrate the people in your life, showing up for their birthdays, promotions, and ‘wins'!

• You support the people in your life, being an ever-present comfort, a listening ear, and a practical help in the disappointments, setbacks, and heartbreaks. You’re still there when everyone else has moved on.

• You protect the people in your life from drama, offense, and accusation, often acting as a buffer between them and the problem through your prayer or presence.

• You are a hub that leads the people you love into a place of belonging with other people you love. You are a connector of community.

• You ache over the burdens of others — both long-time friends and people you’ve just met. You feel people’s pain deeply and desire to step in to help bear the burden.

• You sit with people and stay with them through the ups and downs of their journey; you pursue them and have many life-long relationships of depth.

What happens where we lack shepherding grace in our churches and ministries?

We Become Cold: God’s Church compromises ‘family’ in the pursuit of ‘function,’ and becomes professional, machine-like, and results-based. In the pursuit of progress, people fall through the cracks.

Or We Become Calloused: Some people ‘mesh’ with the community culture and find a place to belong, while many others struggle, causing cliques, competition, jealousy, and sibling rivalry (Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Isaac and Ishmael fighting for their seat).

Or We Charge Toward Deception, Offense, and Attack: Because of feeling unseen, unvalued, or neglected, sheep begin to wander into either isolation or into ‘clusters of offense’ where they spend their energy resenting both the shepherds and the field.

4 Warnings for Highly Shepherding people:

1. Enablement / Over-shepherding

   
   

   Sometimes, in our love for someone and our belief in their potential, we can find ourselves taking responsibility that isn’t ours to take. Coddling, making excuses, or ‘covering sins’ to the point of ignoring dysfunctional mindsets and behaviors will hurt the flock. True compassion also requires correction. “God disciplines those He loves” (Hebrews 12). “Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.” Warren Wiersbe

   
   

2. Inward Focus

   
   

   On the other side of the spectrum, we can easily build super safe communities with high values of honor, but move to the extreme where “safe” becomes “sanitized” and stops making place for the broken. In this case, “safe” is the enemy of “saving” the lost. The bar becomes so high, it is too steep for the broken to belong. Wherever this happens, we slowly become Pharisees, insulating our families, kids, and church from the “world,” running from the very ones Jesus desires to rescue. Shepherds need those with the evangelistic and apostolic graces around them! It’s the only way to keep “community” from becoming a “commune.”

   
   

3. Lack of Personal Boundaries Needed for Health

   
   

   Shepherds love so much, they have to establish clear boundaries. Otherwise, they become a counselor and a “listening ear” for everyone, at the neglect of their own health, spiritual life, family, and joy of being alive! Saying “no” can be tough for shepherds who lament that, “they need me.” The truth is that they need JESUS. And He invites you to partner with Him in specific places to join Him on their restoration journey, but HE is the Rescuer. You are His kid, and you need discernment from Him about where HE is calling you. Otherwise, your “Yes” for Him will become your “I Can’t Anymore.”

   
   

4. Compassion Fatigue/Cynicism/Burnout

   
   

   Loving and leading as a shepherd is challenging, because sheep wander and sometimes bite. Grace calls us to love despite brokenness, often without reciprocation, risking heartbreak, deception, and rejection. Without solid identity in Jesus first, we seek validation elsewhere, fueling burnout. Without restoration, trauma breeds retreat, anger, numbness, and defensiveness, perpetuating the cycle of unhealthy shepherding.

1. Are you strong in the five-fold Shepherding Grace?

2. What from the above makes you think "oh, that's me!"?

3. How are you currently bringing your gift to your church or ministry? Or how would you like to do it?

Additional Resources on the 5-fold: Episodes 4 and 5 of The Live Worthy Podcast. Check out episodes specific to the Shepherding Grace during the whole month of November on the Live Worthy Podcast! Don't know how to access the podcast? Check out our guide!

Need some equipping in Shepherding grace? Check out Worthy's partner, Ellel Ministries!

-Compiled by Niki Hathorn from teachings by Pastor Chuck Ammons