Unity & Disagreeing Well

Last winter, colon cancer claimed the life of one of the best people I’ve ever known. A believer, army veteran, firefighter, and Christian scouting leader, she’d battled the disease for four of the twelve years we’d been friends.  

Our relationship was rocky at times–usually when she was trying to talk me into yet another commitment during the years I was stretched thin with young children. Staffing a booth at the mall, wrapping Christmas gifts for children in need. Babysitting for resettled Afghan refugees. Putting on a VBS for a tiny church unable to do it themselves. I’m not sure when she slept. If she slept. Maybe she always sensed that her time on earth would be short. Maybe she saw so much suffering as a first responder that she simply couldn’t look away. Or maybe she was transforming into the image of Christ on a different timeline than the rest of us around her.

The days after her death were tragic, yet inspiring. You don’t live a life like hers without making an impact. Her home church was too small for her memorial, which the county livestreamed on its television channel. Brought together by the death of a selfless woman, Christians from churches across Tampa came together to share gospel messages with 1000+ people at her funeral and reception, and to do everything they could to support her suffering family. 

I wish the sense of unity between the believers had lasted–but I’m not surprised it didn’t. After all, our way of life began with the death of a selfless man, calling us to share the gospel and love with our suffering human family. 

It’s easy for Christians to rally to meet a need. It’s harder for us to come together without an urgent, common cause. Over the past 2000 years, we’ve gone from being one like Jesus and the Father to more than 45,000 denominations worldwide, according to recent statistics from Pew Research Center, dividing based on everything from views on salvation and biblical literalism to social and political stances. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t doctrinal hills to die on. But it’s not a hill if there aren’t a few valleys in between. 

Scripture calls us to unity. But that doesn’t mean we are called to uniformity.

Verses that instruct us how to handle differences of opinion seem to indicate that God knew we would disagree. The goal isn’t to be identical. It’s to act as one and show the kind of love even in disagreement that Jesus said would be the mark of His disciples. 

1. Scripture tells us not to engage in contentious debate on a handful of particular topics of specific concern at that time in church history. Sure, a handful of believers may sharply disagree on Mosaic law and speculative genealogies today, but the larger takeaway discourages senseless debate that holds no spiritual benefit or constructive outcomes. The following verse is juxtaposed with topics Paul tells Titus he should teach, focusing highly on the sacrifice of Jesus to motivate believers to good works.  

“But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.” Titus 3:9

2. Scripture explicitly gives believers permission to disagree in Romans 14:1, where Paul warns believers not to argue with newer converts bothered by the idea of eating meat that came from animals sacrificed to pagan gods. In that day, leftovers from animals sacrificed at these temples were sent to the public market. Paul later broadens this discussion to days that new converts held sacred, most likely the Hebrew Sabbath, and says that it’s acceptable for both believers to hold their own, differing positions. 

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat… Therefore, let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. Romans 14:10,13

3. The right to disagree does not give us the right to be disagreeable. Paul warns us against setting vulnerable believers up to fall. This is the man who asserted that he had the right to eat any meat - whether it came from an animal Jews considered unclean or one sacrificed to false gods - but said he would essentially become a vegetarian to avoid distressing a brother or sister in Christ. 

   
   

“Be careful, however, that your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak… So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. By sinning against your brothers in this way and wounding their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to stumble.” 1 Corinthians 8:9, 11-13

4. Jesus warned us that not all who do works in His name are His. But He also told His disciples not to stop others who are doing them. When John told a man casting out demons in Jesus’ name to stop because he was not one of His 12 disciples. Jesus corrected him, saying that someone doing powerful works in His name was unlikely to sully it later. Now, we may not be able to tell whether someone today is doing good works for Jesus or for another reason. Good thing it’s not our job to decide. 

   
   

“Teacher,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” "Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. Mark 9:38-40

Arguments about meat and sacred days sound unusual to our modern ears. But consider that these disagreements were based in readings of Old Testament law - the only scripture these believers had - and much of our New Testament is made up of letters sent sorting these issues out. Matters of Scriptural interpretation. Conscience. Even the Ten Commandments. Looking through this lens, we can understand how convicted believers must have felt. And yet the message is consistent: 

• Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of debatable things (Romans 14:20)

• Become known for your gentleness, because Jesus is coming soon (Philippians 4:5)

• Put others ahead of yourself, looking out for the concerns of others (Philippians 2:4)

• Do your best to seek peace and encouragement with brethren whom you disagree (Romans 14:19)

  
  

When we read the New Testament, there’s no question that believers will disagree. The real  question is, how will we handle things when we disagree?

Jesus said that His followers would be known by their love for their brothers and sisters in Him. They say blood is thicker than water. Let’s show the world that His blood creates the strongest bond there is. 

~Kristin Yarbrough, Worthy Content Creator

Questions for consideration:

1. How do you define a “true Christian”? Would Jesus agree with your definition?

2. What beliefs are your “hills to die on”? Are they core issues of the faith or personal convictions?

3. Jesus said His disciples would be recognized by their love for one another. Would your colleagues or neighbors convict you on this charge based on your behavior or speech?