To the Groom and the Bride

I’ve been a bride twice. Not exactly something people hope for. I know I didn’t. When you’re growing up, you don’t say, “Well, when I get married the first time, this is the kind of wedding I want. Then, when I get married the second time, I’ll get married here.” At least I hope not. No, the “married twice” thing is not ideal. But since it’s part of my story, the Lord has used it for His glory. And one of the things He’s shown me is that we as women know what it means to be a bride. Somehow we understand the desire, the beauty, the excitement, the sacredness, the purity, the preparation of being a bride even if we’ve never been married. If we’re a woman we have probably envisioned ourselves in a gown, at the altar, taking vows. 

The comparison of this position as a bride to God’s people is evident throughout scripture.

In Revelation 19:7-8 it says, “‘Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.’ For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.”

If you’re a woman reading this, you have some understanding of what it means that she has prepared herself for the wedding. She is probably in the best shape of her life. Toned arms, dewy skin, just the right hint of rosy cheeks, perfectly manicured nails to show off her engagement ring, her hair long and soft. Every part of her–head to toe–is ready. This is easy for me to picture. Again, I’ve been here twice–not a flex. 

This text, with such close associations to bridal themes, brings the picture and the Bible to life for me. So I will often ask my husband, “How does a text like this relate to you as a man? I, as a woman, am excited to be the Bride of Christ. And technically, and spiritually this is your position in the kingdom too, because you are in Christ. Is it weird for you to think about it like that because you’re a guy?"

(I ask him lots of questions like this. He is mostly used to it.) He says he sees it mostly from the perspective of the groom, putting himself in the groom seat, thinking about how Jesus longs to see us and how perfect we are to Him. I love this perspective.

Then I was reading the other day, John 3:27-30, and I saw a new perspective of this wedding feast, the nuptials and the time leading up to the ceremony. John’s disciples saw Jesus’ disciples baptizing some people and they felt concerned, maybe even jealous. And John said this, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. You yourselves know how plainly I told you, ‘I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him.’ It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the bridegroom’s friend is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success.  He must become greater and I must become less and less.” 

I looked at my husband in a whole new way. God wired him to be steady. Standing is a key part of his role. Have you ever seen those videos of the groomsmen at the altar? Sweltering heat. Freezing snow. Crazy kids coming down the aisle. Wild family members making outbursts. The job of the best man is to stand with him through all of that, and get him to the moment at the altar where he says his vows. 

He prepares for a wedding differently than a bride and her bridesmaids. Those bridesmaids and groomsmen are in two different rooms, but they share the same goal. No matter what comes, bring them together. 

I asked my husband, "Does that picture resonate with you?" He nodded and then said, “He and John were having a baptism bachelor party."  

As a bride, I would’ve never seen that without the perspective of a groom. 

And maybe that’s the point. In Christ, we are both the ones being made ready and called to stand ready. We are the bride, called to purity, beauty, and wholehearted devotion—preparing ourselves in faithfulness for the day we see Him face to face. And we are also the friend of the Bridegroom, the steady one who stands firm, who decreases so He may increase, who clears the aisle and quiets the noise so others can behold Him. We long for Him, and we labor for Him. We adorn ourselves in righteousness, and we stand shoulder to shoulder in loyalty. Different rooms, same wedding. Different roles, same joy. And in the end, every posture—whether kneeling in preparation or standing in resolve—exists for one purpose: that the Bridegroom would be seen, celebrated, and lifted high.

~Erin Arruda, Worthy Founder

• In what ways does thinking about bridal preparation (purity, anticipation, devotion, readiness) deepen or challenge your walk with Christ?

• How can we live out both roles: preparing our own hearts for Christ while also standing steady and helping others see and celebrate Him?

• John said, “He must become greater and I must become less.” What might that look like practically in your daily life? Where are you being called to “stand firm” in loyalty and humility so that Jesus, the Bridegroom, is the one most clearly seen?